Well Son of a Bitch....

Just when I thought I would write a blog to vent my frustration I get hit by a cement truck.  Ok I didn't really get hit by a real truck but man it sure feels like it.  And by the time it you all read this, it could be worse.

A little back story.  Back in Jan/Feb I discovered a sizeable lump in my neck.  About the size of a golf ball, located just below my jaw.  Time went on and it didn't go away so I finally asked my doctor about it...we were already there on another matter so i just casually mentioned it to him.  The visit went like this:

Me: So I have this thing, should I make an appointment with you to check it out?
Doc:  Holy Crap!  Let me swab your throat.  Here's a form for blood tests and an ultrasound.

Well I guess I didn't need to make another appointment.  Off I went and had all that done while trying to not freak out.  A week goes by and I go back for the results.  The visit went like this:

Me:  So whats the dealio...
Doc:  Well the good news is you don't have mono.
Me:  Ummm...ok thats good to know....
Doc:  I'm not finished...your blood work is fine....
Me:   Yippee!
Doc:  Im not finished!  The ultrasound tech is concerned that your lump has a blood source.
Me:  Ummm so that means I'm growing an alien off the side of my neck?
Doc:  It has to come out, Stat!  I am going to send you to a surgeon to check it out.  Let me know if you don't hear from them in the next 10 days.
Me:  Ummmm.

So I got the call from the surgeon that afternoon.  Damn things sure are getting done quick around here!  Its almost shocking!

Fast forward to today.  I go to the appointment.  The guy looks in my ears, up my nose, in my mouth.  I have never had such an examination of my tongue in my life.  It was quite the experience.  So far the appointment was painless.  Then the bomb drops.  It went something like this...

Doc.  Lets go to the other room
Me:  whaaaa????
Doc:  I need to stick this fancy doodad up your nose all the way down to your throat.
Me:  Ummm...okaaaay...
Doc:  Well everything looks good from here.
Me:  Whew!  Excuse me while I try not to throw up as you yank the scope out.
Doc:  Now its time for the needles
Me:  No one said anything about a needle...or two!  Or that they are going to be that BIG!
Doc: I'm going to swab you with an anastethic but I will warn you, it won't help.
Me:  WTF?

So he took the two tissue samples...I guess this is commonly referred to as a needle biopsy.  I get up to leave and he says...

Doc:  Want a Cat scan immediately, go to high river
Me:  Cat scan?????
Doc:  when was the last time you had a chest xray..
Me:  Never?
Doc:  Cool, you get to do both! 
Me:  What fun!

Then I went on my merry way trying to absorb what the hell just went on.  On the plus side of things, I did win a coffee at Timmy's...too bad it wasn't the car- then it would have been a stellar day for me!

So now the waiting game begins.  I'll call Monday for the results of the biopsy and when the cat scan will be.  So far I am doing ok with everything.  The guy is a little freaked but is hiding it well.  I'm coping by keeping a sense of humor about it.  When I was told this thing had a blood source this scene from spaceballs flashed in my brain and makes me laugh every time.  I'm twisted I know!  LOL

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Now dear readers..all 5 of you LOL, all I wish for from you is to keep me in your prayers and hope that this will just be a little bump in the road with a wicked scar to show for it.  And heck if I have to shave my head too,, then so what, I didn't like my hair this way anyway.

Cheers!