So I have made it to July. It has been roughly 51/2 weeks since my surgery and it hasn't all been bad. I can't update my pictures as someone lost my camera and won't replace it any time soon.
The scar looks good, still a little red along the line but there is absolutely no swelling to be found. I still subconciously poke at it trying to find the lump that was there. Sometimes I think my mind is playing tricks on me and I can still feel it but what I think I feel is the scar tissue underneath and whatever veins and stuff that had been pushed aside, still hanging out where they had been moved to.
There has been no change to my other side affects. I got a mosquito bite the last week on my neck and holy crap did it itch. Its still a bizarre sensation to feel the itch and not feel the scratch. All the scratching did was leave a red mark on my skin and no relief. I can now track where the numbness starts and where it ends. The only thing I wonder is how will this affect my jawline if I happen to get an injury there. Not that I am planning on getting hit in the jaw any time soon but there have been times when I have tripped and wound up smacking myself in the face. Im not the most coordinated person on the planet. Ha! Will this numbness make an injury worse for me and perhaps lead to a bigger injury? Don't know.
People still tell me "Oh I didn't notice your eye until you pointed it out" Yeah I call bullshit. How can you not notice when it gets worse when I am tired or angry? If it wasn't noticeable when why do people stare at it? And believe me its not the scar they are staring at. I can see the line of sight. The squint is huge compared to my other eye. I don't know if I can live with this lopsidedness forever or whether it would be better to get surgery to correct it. Vanity sure is a bitch.
I still get aches in my neck near where the sympathetic nerve hangs out - the same area where the neck muscle attaches your skull to your body. What its from I have no idea it could be the nerve is still healing itself after being invaded so long. Again another one for the who knows department.
I have 9 days until my follow up with the doctor and I tell ya its going to be the longest 9 days in my life. There are so many questions I want him to answer but unfortunately with all the reading I have done since initial diagnosis I know he won't have a lot of answers. Yes its true there haven't been any cases of reoccurance but how can you be sure since there have only been 50 cases ever? Where is the information that concludes difinitively that a tumor won't show up on my other sympathetic nerve. If the mass started because of a DNA oddity in the lining of the nerve, whos to say another oddity will show up? Or bettter yet, something shows up closer to my brain. No one can say. It is so frustrating to not have full and complete information.
So in the mean time I am going to spend today partying like a rock star with over 80,000 of my closest friends, take in some fireworks and forget the world for a little while. What will I do for the rest of the 8 days? Laundry and dishes...because they won't do themselves.
And what have you been up to lately?
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